You can see the pattern. It still wins.
Relationships that end the way the last one did. A voice that says you are not enough, whatever you achieve.
Master’s in CounsellingTwo years of advanced schema therapy training
Adults, one to oneIn person in Berkshire, or online
The patterns people bring me
- You keep ending up in the same relationship with different people.
- You can be doing well by every measure and still feel about to be found out.
- You go quiet rather than risk someone being disappointed in you.
- You brace for people to leave long before there is any sign of it.
- You hold everyone else together and cannot say who holds you.
- You understand exactly why you do it, and you do it anyway.
None of this means something is wrong with you. It usually means something made sense once, and has outlived the situation that needed it.
Why I do this work
I grew up around this way of thinking. My father is an advanced schema therapist, trained directly by Dr Jeffrey Young; my mother is a solution-focused therapist. What I took from that house was the conviction that most of what people call a character flaw is a very old solution to a very old problem.
I have been working in therapy since 2017, and I am drawn to the people who have been told they are too much. My job is not to fix you. It is to sit close enough to the thing you have been carrying that you no longer have to carry it alone.
“Unhealthy as it may be, most people seek and create environments that feel familiar and similar to the ones where they grew up.”
Dr Jeffrey Young, founder of schema therapy
A schema is a belief about yourself and other people that you did not sit down and choose. It formed early, out of what you needed and did not get, and it has been quietly filtering everything since.
When one is triggered it does not feel like a belief. It feels like the truth, and like danger. So you do what worked when you were small: you please, you withdraw, you attack, you numb it. Sensible then. Expensive now.
What actually happens, start to finish
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This week
A fifteen-minute call
Free, and no pressure. You say a little about what is going on, I explain how I work, and you go away and decide.
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Sessions one to three
We map what is running
We lay out the patterns, where they were learned and what sets them off. Most people say this part alone is a relief.
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From week four
We go at the feeling
Regular fifty-minute sessions. We work with the younger part of you that learned these rules, in the room, until something shifts.
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What you leave with
You catch it earlier
The pattern still turns up. But you catch it while it is happening, and there is a gap between it landing and you acting on it.
Start with a fifteen-minute conversation.
No long intake form. Just your first name, an email and a line about what brings you here. Then a short call with a person, not a waiting list.
People who sat where you are sitting
“I started seeing Sonia when I was going through a really difficult time with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. She guided me through schema therapy and helped me make sense of what I was feeling and why I was thinking the way I did. Sonia was always so patient, kind, and understanding — I never felt judged, only supported. Her compassion and insight made such a difference in my healing, and I’m truly grateful for everything she’s done for me.”
“Sonia has helped me so so much in and out of sessions. I was able to feel a sense of safety very quickly because she shows genuine care with a real sense of knowing and wanting to know. Her companionship is easily felt and she is able to sensitively and powerfully help re-write harmful schema narratives and take on bullying, critical and punitive voices. I really value her support and recommended her to my sister as well when she was in need, saying confidently that Sonia is a therapist to trust.”
“When my anxiety as a new mum was overwhelming, Sonia helped me calm down and be in the right frame of mind to explore my anxiety. She met me at my own pace when I needed it most and could barely function! I felt overwhelmed with my emotions; I currently feel more balanced, stable and able to engage the voice of my ‘healthy adult’ with greater ease!”
Still reading?
That is usually a sign. The first step is a short call, and it costs nothing.
Start with a free 15-min call